The following is a template you can use/modify to email potential sex therapists to see if they would be a good fit for you and your goals.
Hi [name of potential therapist]
My name is [your name].
Tell your story and your goals.
For example, here is mine (modify as needed):
I was recently diagnosed with Lichen Sclerosus. This is a chronic, inflammatory skin condition that affects the vulvar skin. It has caused significant scarring and changes to my anatomy. It causes symptoms like pain, burning, itching, tearing during sex, pain during sex, etc.
This diagnosis has greatly affected my mental health (e.g., struggle with body dysmorphia with my vulva, feeling shame and disgust, health anxiety, panic and fear, depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness) and my sexual health (i.e, I cannot have sex with my husband because of pain, terrified to have sex again, feel like my sexual identity is completely squashed, worried I'll never be able to have sex again, etc.).
I’m interested in potentially working with you, but I have some questions I would like to ask first:
- Given my story, is this something you feel comfortable working with?
- Have you worked with clients with lichen sclerosus before? (P.S. it's not a red flag per se if they say no. What's important is a willingness to learn).
- Is therapy online or in-person? How long are the sessions?
- What methods and techniques do you practice – e.g., somatic therapy, CBT, EMDR, DBT, psychoanalysis, art therapy, etc.?
- How do you measure progress?
- Can you tell me a bit about your background and the types of clients you tend to work with?
- What is your insurance policy like?
- Do you offer a free consultation?
- Would you be open to seeing my partner(s) and me down the line?
- [Any additional questions you have].
Thank you so much in advance.
I can be reached at [leave your contact information here].
[Your name].